七年級英語幽默短文帶翻譯

　　幽默與嚴肅互為驗石，因為不願接受善意的玩笑，其中必有疑處，而經不住審度的玩笑也一定是智慧。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：一個早熟的小孩

　　When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home, he was taken aback when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.

　　當挨家挨戶兜售東西的推銷員按了一幢郊區房子的門鈴後，他嚇了一跳，開門的竟是一位嘴裡叼著一根大雪茄的十歲男孩。

　　The salesman could only stammer out, “Er, is your mother at home?”

　　推銷員結結巴巴地問道“，哦，你媽媽在家嗎?”

　　Answered the boy, “What do you think?”

　　小男孩回答說“，你認為呢?”

　　： 許個願吧!

　　Every morning on his way to work, a businessman passed a house where he saw a woman beating her boy on the head with a loaf of bread. But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.

　　每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都會經過一戶人家，他總是看見一個女人用一條麵包打她兒子的頭部。但今天卻比較特別，他發現她正用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他的頭。

　　Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answered.

　　他忍不住好奇，便按了那戶人家的門鈴。女人聽了鈴聲，出來開門。

　　“Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread...”

　　“這位太太，每天經過這裡我都忍不住會注意到你用一條麵包打你兒子……”

　　“That’s true...”

　　“那倒是不假……”

　　“And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.”

　　“可是今天我卻看見你用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他。”

　　“Well, today’s his birthday.”

　　“今天是他生日嘛。”

　　：一位了不起的天才

　　“Did you know I could tell time by the piano?” asked one friend of another .

　　“你相信我可以由鋼琴知道現在幾點鐘嗎?”一位老兄向他的朋友問道。

　　“You’re kidding,” replied his companion dubiously.

　　“別開玩笑了!”他的朋友懷疑地回答。

　　“I’ll show you,” said the first man as sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.

　　“那我試給你看，”說著那位老兄就坐在鋼琴前開始彈起一首進行曲。

　　Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting, “Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning?”

　　幾秒鐘後牆壁傳來捶打聲，一個憤怒的聲音叫道“：嘿!***的，你知不知道現在是凌晨三點鐘?”