《橘生淮南》讀書筆記

　　原來在乎一個人的時候，表面上裝成什麼樣子都沒有用，那些曾經被她鄙視的種種情緒一一放肆地浮上心頭。電影中當劇情開始轉折的時候，天時地利都順從著主人公的覺醒而大逆轉。然而老天這樣忽冷忽熱地對待她，她那終於勇敢了一次的`決心和驕傲感立即潰不成軍。她可以做決定，但是她真的說了不算。

　　It turned out that whatever you pretended to be on the surface was useless when you really cared about someone, all kinds of emotions that were despised by her floated overwhelmingly in her mind. In a film everything always went smoothly as the hero wished upon the time of his awakening. However, she was treated so unfairly by the fate, making all her pride and courage broke down after being brave for just one time. She could make her own decision, but that didn’t count.

　　原來她獨自一人在這場曠日持久的沉默暗戀中耽擱了太久，對每種難過和偽裝駕輕就熟，卻從未懂得，在兩個人的感情世界中，一錘定音的，不是心有靈犀的睿智，不是旗鼓相當的欣賞，更不是死心塌地的仰望。是心疼，是憐惜。是兩難境地裡，那一點點無可奈何的捨不得。

　　At last she had been lingering alone in the secret love for such a long time. She had been good at hiding all her emotions, no matter happiness or sorrow, but she still couldn’t understand the fact that in the relationship belonging to two individuals what really mattered was not the sensibility and understanding between two wise minds, not the respect and admiration towards the other who was equal in ability. The most important thing was the moment when man and woman felt tender and protective towards each other. That was what you held on to in dilemma.

　　她會把故事講得很好聽。實際生活中，時間控制束縛了她；而在故事裡，她是主人，控制著空間和時間四處飛馳，並且能把被日常瑣碎所掩埋的線索撿起來，重新梳理編排，一定要把聽眾講到如痴如醉淚眼滂沱。然而只是想法而已。故事也許並不像她想象中的那麼容易講——因為講著講著，就會憐憫起從前那個被困在時間裡面眺望未來的自己，心裡很難過。

　　She can write good stories. In reality, the time controls and bounds her, but in stories, she is the master who can order the space and the time to fly around and reach anywhere she imagines. She can also collect the clues buried by daily trivialities, comb them and arrange them and she is confirmed that she can make her audience intoxicated and even cry for some plots. However, that’s just her assumption. Stories are not as easy as she imagines because she can always see the former self who was trapped in time and drew a vague picture of the future in vain, and she feels depressed.