經典幽默笑話精選英文版

  笑話如果僅當其為笑話,是笑話的悲哀。評論文章如果引用笑話來說理,不但發揮了笑話的作用,而且使評論馬上就能增加幽默感。下面是小編帶來的經典幽默笑話英文版,歡迎閱讀!

  經典幽默笑話英文版篇一

  I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He’d just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.

  Dad was chatting up a farmer’s wife once,when I discovered this pig...

  It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well, I was as curious as could be, so I asked the farmer:"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"

  "Well, boy. That is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."

  "And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"

  "Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids."

  "Then why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

  "I told you, boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!"

  "Yes, sir. But why does he have a wooden leg!"

  "Boy, a pig like that, you don’t eat all in one sitting!"

  我小的時候生活在華盛頓。到了週末,爸爸常常帶我們到南部的卡羅萊納州去玩。正是在那裡我們看到了什麼是“真正的生活”。爸爸會沿路開一會兒車,然後把車停在路邊,找農場裡的人聊聊天。

  正當爸爸和一個農婦聊天時,我發現了這隻豬……

  那隻豬很漂亮,可只有三條腿,右後腿還是用木頭做的!我對這點很好奇。於是就問那個農民:“先生,為什麼你的豬有一隻木頭腿啊?”

  “是這樣的,孩子。這是一隻勇敢的豬。有天晚上,我和妻子正在房裡睡覺時,這隻豬跑進來叫醒了我們,我們才知道房子著火了。我們立刻跑了出去,才保住了性命。”

  “這隻豬的腿是在那場火災中燒壞的嗎?”

  “不是的,它完好無損地跑了出去。實際上,它甚至還跑了回去,把我們的孩子也救了出來。”

  “那為何這隻豬會有一隻木頭腿呢?”

  “我已經告訴你了,孩子。那是隻勇敢的豬!一隻英勇的豬!它救了我們全家人的性命!”

  “是的,先生。可是為何它有隻木頭腿呢?”

  “孩子,像這樣的豬,我們是不捨得一次就把它吃光的!”

  經典幽默笑話英文版篇二

  Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord..."God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." "Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

  愛因斯坦登上西奈山與上帝近距離交談。仰望著上帝,他問道:“神啊,一百萬年對於你來說相當於什麼呢?”上帝回答:“一分鐘。”愛因斯坦問:“一百萬元對於你來說又相當於什麼呢?”上帝回答:“一分錢。”愛因斯坦問:“能給我一分錢嗎?”上帝說:“請等一分鐘。”

  經典幽默笑話英文版篇三

  The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

  "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

  "Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

  一個小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

  “沒有關係,”一位先生說,“不用害怕,你知道這條諺語嗎:‘吠狗不咬人。’”

  “啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道嗎?”

  經典幽默笑話英文版篇四

  Once there was a golfer whose ball landed on an anthill***蟻冢***.

  Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty

  swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything moved

  but the golf ball. It sat on the same spot.

  So he tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand ants went flying again. The

  golf ball didn't even wiggle.

  Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other. "Whoa! What are we going to

  do?"

  Said the other ant, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."

  從前有個高爾夫球手,他把球打到了一座蟻丘上。

  他沒有移動球的位置,而是決定就地擊球。於是他使勁一揮球杆,塵土和著螞蟻,四處飛揚

  。所有的東西都動了,除了那隻球,它呆在原地,一動沒動。

  於是,他準備再次出擊。又是一陣塵土飛揚,螞蟻們也再次跟著遭殃。而高爾夫球還是紋絲

  不動。

  兩隻螞蟻倖免於難,一隻暈暈乎乎地對另一隻說:“哇,我們怎麼辦啊?”

  另一隻螞蟻說:“我不知道你怎麼想,但是我準備爬到那隻球上去。”

  經典幽默笑話英文版篇五

  A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?

  Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.

  Well done. Who was that?

  My granny.

  Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.

  Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!

  一個主日學校的老師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。現在,孩子們,她說:你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?

  我,老師,一個小男孩說:昨天我就使別人高興過。

  做得好,是誰呢?

  我奶奶。

  好孩子,現在告訴我們,你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。

  是這樣的,老師。我昨天去看她,在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她說:‘啊,我很高興!’