關於簡單的英語冷笑話
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會密切相關。小編整理了,歡迎閱讀!
:Leak
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," And the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."
:Is he dead?
A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "Bubba is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
:Welfare Office
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.
"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
:Big city church
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big city church.
"When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began.
"You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
"I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued.
"The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him.
"Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on.
"That would be the usher," Charlie explained.
"Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said.
"You mean the aisle," Charlie said.
"Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued.
"Pew," Charlie retorted.
"Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."
:Sue
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging theirarteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why are you asking?
"Cause what I wanna know is, I was thinkin', "can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with ?"
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