生活幽默英語笑話

  在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來,希望大家喜歡!

  :大眾傳媒

  Curiosity killed a cat.

  愛管閒事,自己吃虧。

  Jack's father and the professor are talking about Jack.

  傑克的爸爸正在和教授談論傑克。

  A:Why did you fail Jack in his examination, and tell him he would have to leave the university?

  你為什麼給傑克不及格並讓他必須退學?

  B:Because he really cannot continue his study in the univversity.

  因為他確實不能在大學裡繼續他的學業了。

  A:But he is a good boy. If you let him pass this time. I'm sure he will make a progress next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.

  可他是一個好孩子。如果這次您能讓他過關,明年他一定會大有長進,而且在年終的時候能夠非常出色地通過考試。

  B:No,too,that's quite impossible! Do you know, last monthI a sked him when Napoleon died, and he didn't know!

  不,木行,那是根本不可能的,你知道不知道,上個月我問他拿破崙足什麼時候去世的,可他居然會不知道。

  A:Please sir,give him another chance. You see.Iam afraid w e don't take any newspapers in our house, so none of us even knew that Na- poleon was ill recently.

  先生,請再給他一次機會吧。您要知道,恐怕是因為我們家裡沒有訂報紙吧,所以我們全家甚至沒有一人知道拿破崙最近得了病。

  :電影風暴

  Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.

  瓊斯夫婦晚上很少出去。可上星期六,瓊斯太太想去看電影。

  A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?

  今晚電影院有場好電影,我們去看嗎?

  ***Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.

  瓊斯先生對此感到非常高興。於是他們便去了,他倆兒都喜愛這部影片。當他們從電影院出來時已經11點鐘了。他們趕緊上了車,開始朝家開去,天色很黑。***

  A:Look,Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?

  快看,比爾!有個女人正沿著公路飛快地奔跑,後面還有一個男人在追她,你看見了嗎?

  B:Yes, I can.***Driving the car slowly near the woman***Can I help you?

  是的,我看見了。***把車慢慢地開到女人身旁***我能幫助你嗎?

  C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.

  不,謝謝。我和我丈夫每次看完電影之後總是跑著回家,因為誰最後到家,誰就要洗盤子。

  :瘋狂舞會

  This story makes the proverb"Like father, like son"come true.

  這個故事正應驗了“有其父必有其子”那句諺語。

  A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.

  我現在管不了我兒子迪克了。

  B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.

  你用不著擔心,我也經常與我女兒發生矛盾。

  A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.

  我想,迪克隨我。

  B:That's not bad.

  那並不是件壞事呀!

  A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.

  問題就壞在這裡了。我三番五次地告訴他,不要照我做的去做,而要照我說的去做。可似乎根本沒有用。

  B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.

  比爾,看著我,究竟發生了什麼,你快告訴我。我將幫你理出個頭緒來。

  A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?

  我,呃,呃……告訴他不要去看脫衣舞女郎,因為他可能會看到不該看的東西,你知道他怎麼了?

  B:What?

  怎麼?

  A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7

  信不信由你,他恰恰那麼做了,你猜他看到了什麼?

  B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...

  呃,這個方面我不是專家,不過我猜想那孩子……

  A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.

  沒錯,你猜對了,他看見我在那兒。