關於易懂的英語笑話閱讀
日常生活中,語言是人們相互交流的基本工具,因此,很大一部分幽默效果都反映在語言層面上,笑話是幽默的語言表達。本文是關於易懂的英語笑話,希望對大家有幫助!
關於易懂的英語笑話:Bee Sting
A young woman had been taking golf lessons all week long. She`d just begun her first game of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense , she couldn`t continue her game. She decided to go back to the clubhouse and get some medical attention.
Her golf Pro saw her enter the clubhouse and asked,"Why are you back so soon?" What`s wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," she answered.
"Where?," he asked.
"Between the first and second holes," she replied.
He nodded his head knowingly and said,"Then your stance is too wide."
關於易懂的英語笑話:Girls' Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her buttthat said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
關於易懂的英語笑話:Where's The Manager
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.
"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."
關於易懂的英語笑話:50 Cents
After many months of trying to make ends meet, a couple decided that the only way they were going to get any extra cash was to have the old lady start hooking.
Early the next morning the wife came home looking very haggard and worn out. The husband guiltily asked how she did, to which the wife replied that she earned two hundred dollars and 50 cents.
“That’s great!“ the husband replies. “But who gave you the 50 cents?”
“Everybody!” replied the wife.
關於易懂的英語笑話:The Professor's Wife
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt oroffended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!
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