簡單易懂的英語小笑話

  冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象,它以網路為主要的傳播方式。小編精心收集了,供大家欣賞學習!

  篇1

  相親 Blind Date

  After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

  和盲約物件呆了一晚上後,男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話,這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊,他垂下眼睛,裝出一副陰沉的表情,說:“有個不幸的訊息,我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地!”他的約會物件說,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”

  篇2

  a professor was giving a big test one day to his students. he handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

  一天,教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷,然後回到講臺前等待。

  once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. the professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "a dollar per point."

  考試結束了,學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上彆著一張百元鈔票,還有一張紙條寫著:“一分一塊錢。”

  the next class the professor handed the tests back out. this student got back his test and $64 change.

  第二堂課,教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。

  篇3

  our manager at the restaurant where i worked was a much beloved, jovial man. but there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should i say, his lack of it. one day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "someone just picked my pocket!" most of my fellow waitresses and i were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "how could anyone stoop so low?"

  我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴,和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者,我應該說,他是有點矮!一天,經理怒氣衝衝地撞門而入,高聲說,

  “有人拿了我的錢包!”

  我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲,但有人卻蹦出一句話:

  “哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!

  篇4

  husband: everytime i hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?

  wife: i clean the toilet seat.............

  husband: how does it help

  wife: i use your toothbrush!!!!

  丈夫:每次我揍你的時候,你都不還手。你是怎麼出這口氣的?

  妻子:每次我都去刷廁所。

  丈夫:這能管用嗎?

  妻子:刷廁所用的是你的牙刷。