趣味經典英語笑話
在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來,希望大家喜歡!
:為什麼
A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave,
“位墓園管理員在巡視的時候,看見一名男子躺在墳墓上,
sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,
大聲哭泣,並且用他的拳頭重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地說:
"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.
"你為什麼一定要死?哦,為什麼?為什麼?為什麼?”
"A loved one's passing is a terrible lose."the grounds keeper offered in consolation,
墓園管理員安慰他說“心愛的人死去是個很難受的損失,
"but someday,the pain will pass."
但是終有一天,傷痛會過去的。”
"Love one?" the weeping man said ,looking up.
這位哭泣的男子抬起頭看著他說:“心愛的人?
" I didn't even know the guy."
我根本不認識這個人。…
"Then why all the tears? "
"那為什麼要痛哭流涕呢?…"
"He was my wife's first husband!"
"他是我老婆的笫一任老公呀!”
:工作中的面試
Reaching the end of a job interview ,
到了工作面試的最後部分,
the personnel recruitment officer asken a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge,
人事招聘主管問一位剛從劍橋 橋畢業的年輕工程師:
" And what starting salary were you looking for?"
“你想要起薪多少呢 ?”
The engineer said,"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year,depending on the benefits package ."
工程師說 :“太約一年十四萬左右吧,要視整體福利而定。”
The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,
面試主管說:“嗯,五個禮拜的假期,
14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,
十四天帶薪假,全額補助醫療和看牙科,
company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary ,
百分之五十薪資的公司相對退休基金,
and a company car leased every 2 years ,say,a red sports Mercedes? "
每兩年公司租用配車,比如說,紅色的賓士跑車,你覺得怎么樣呀?”
The engineer sat up straight and said ,
工程師挺直坐著說:
"Wow!Are you kidding?"
“哇!你在開玩笑吧?”
And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it."
面試主管回答說 :“對呀。不過是你起頭的呀。”
:決不放棄
A government employee found and old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.
有一位政府機關員工在檔案櫃裡面發現一盞老舊的銅製油燈。
When he dusted it off,a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.
當他把它的灰塵除去的時候。有一個精靈出現了 ,並且同意他三個願望。
"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now,"
他告訴精靈 “我現在馬上就要一瓶冰啤酒 。”
he told the genie .Poof! A beer appeared .
砰!一瓶啤酒出現了。
Next the man said," I wish to be on an island,surrounded by becautiful and willing woman."
這個人接著說:“我想要到一個島上, 被甘心樂意的美女圍繞著。”
Poof!He was on an island with gorgeous woman fawning all over him.
砰!他到了一個島上,被美女糾纏著對他獻殷勤。
Oh,this is the life,the guy thought.
這傢伙想著啊,這才是生活呀。
"I wish I never had to work again."
“我希望我永遠都不必再工作。”
And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!
砰!他回到他在政府機關的 辦公桌前。
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