趣味經典英語笑話

  在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來,希望大家喜歡!

  :為什麼

  A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave,

  “位墓園管理員在巡視的時候,看見一名男子躺在墳墓上,

  sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,

  大聲哭泣,並且用他的拳頭重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地說:

  "Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.

  "你為什麼一定要死?哦,為什麼?為什麼?為什麼?”

  "A loved one's passing is a terrible lose."the grounds keeper offered in consolation,

  墓園管理員安慰他說“心愛的人死去是個很難受的損失,

  "but someday,the pain will pass."

  但是終有一天,傷痛會過去的。”

  "Love one?" the weeping man said ,looking up.

  這位哭泣的男子抬起頭看著他說:“心愛的人?

  " I didn't even know the guy."

  我根本不認識這個人。…

  "Then why all the tears? "

  "那為什麼要痛哭流涕呢?…"

  "He was my wife's first husband!"

  "他是我老婆的笫一任老公呀!”

  :工作中的面試

  Reaching the end of a job interview ,

  到了工作面試的最後部分,

  the personnel recruitment officer asken a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge,

  人事招聘主管問一位剛從劍橋 橋畢業的年輕工程師:

  " And what starting salary were you looking for?"

  “你想要起薪多少呢 ?”

  The engineer said,"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year,depending on the benefits package ."

  工程師說 :“太約一年十四萬左右吧,要視整體福利而定。”

  The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,

  面試主管說:“嗯,五個禮拜的假期,

  14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,

  十四天帶薪假,全額補助醫療和看牙科,

  company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary ,

  百分之五十薪資的公司相對退休基金,

  and a company car leased every 2 years ,say,a red sports Mercedes? "

  每兩年公司租用配車,比如說,紅色的賓士跑車,你覺得怎么樣呀?”

  The engineer sat up straight and said ,

  工程師挺直坐著說:

  "Wow!Are you kidding?"

  “哇!你在開玩笑吧?”

  And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it."

  面試主管回答說 :“對呀。不過是你起頭的呀。”

  :決不放棄

  A government employee found and old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.

  有一位政府機關員工在檔案櫃裡面發現一盞老舊的銅製油燈。

  When he dusted it off,a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.

  當他把它的灰塵除去的時候。有一個精靈出現了 ,並且同意他三個願望。

  "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now,"

  他告訴精靈 “我現在馬上就要一瓶冰啤酒 。”

  he told the genie .Poof! A beer appeared .

  砰!一瓶啤酒出現了。

  Next the man said," I wish to be on an island,surrounded by becautiful and willing woman."

  這個人接著說:“我想要到一個島上, 被甘心樂意的美女圍繞著。”

  Poof!He was on an island with gorgeous woman fawning all over him.

  砰!他到了一個島上,被美女糾纏著對他獻殷勤。

  Oh,this is the life,the guy thought.

  這傢伙想著啊,這才是生活呀。

  "I wish I never had to work again."

  “我希望我永遠都不必再工作。”

  And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!

  砰!他回到他在政府機關的 辦公桌前。