英語經典笑話

　　作為網路社會中的新敘事文字,IT笑話是在資訊科技引入中國、技術群體逐漸崛起、專業知識術語開始出現以後產生的一種新民間敘事體裁。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　：Heart Transplant心臟移植

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.

　　有一名男子患有心贓病，被送往醫院急診室。

　　The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.

　　醫生告訴他，除非他立刻接受心臟移植，否則他就活不成。

　　Another doctor runs into the room and says,

　　另外一名，醫生跑進急診室說：

　　"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you want.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

　　“你真幸運，剛好有兩個心臟可移植，所以你要選擇你要哪一個心臟。一個是屬於律師，另一個是屬於社會工作者。”

　　The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."

　　這名男子很快響應說：“律師的。”

　　The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

　　醫生說：“等等!你不想在你做決定之前瞭解一下他們嗎?”

　　The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"

　　這名男子說：“我已經知道夠了。大家都知道社會工作者都是流血的***有同情心的***心臟，而律師的心臟可能從來都不曾用過他的。所以我選擇律師的心臟。"

　　：Social Worker 社會工作者

　　Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.

　　有兩名社會工作者在晚上的時候 走過市區的簡陋地方。

　　They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,

　　他們聽到從後巷傳來的求救呻吟聲和很小的哭喊聲。

　　they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.

　　他們發現有一個意識不清的人躺在血泊之中。

　　"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten " he pleaded.

　　他在懇求說：“救救我吧，我被人行凶搶劫，還遭到惡意痛打一頓。”

　　The two social workers turned and walked away .

　　這兩名社會工作者轉身離去。

　　One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."

　　其中一位向她的同事說：“你知道吧，於下這擋事的火才真 的需要協助呀。”

　　：Broken Finger斷指

　　A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain .

　　有名年輕女子去看醫生，怨忿地說著她的病痛。

　　"Where are you hurting?"asked the doctor.

　　醫生問她：“你哪裡痛?”

　　"You have to help me,I hurt all over",said the woman,

　　女子說：“你一定要幫幫我，我全身痛。”

　　"What do you mean ,all over ?"asked the doctor,"be a little more specific."

　　醫生問說：“什麼意思呀，全身?講更明確一點吧”

　　The woman toughed her right knee with her index finger and yelled,

　　這名女子用她的指碰觸右膝，痛得直叫;

　　"Ow,that hurts."Then she toughed her left cheek and again yelled,

　　“哎唷，那裡好痛呀。”然後她碰觸左臉頰，又痛得直叫：

　　"Ouch!That hurts ,too.”Then she toughed her right earlobe ,

　　“哎呀，那裡也好痛呀。”然後她碰觸右耳垂，她哭喊說：

　　"Ow,even THAT hurts ,she cried.

　　“哎呀，連那裡也好痛呀。”

　　The doctor checked her thoughtfull for a moment and told her his diagnosis,"You have a broken finger."

　　醫生體貼地替她檢查了一會兒，然後把診斷結果告訴她：“你的手指斷了啦。”