大學幽默英語故事閱讀

  學習始於故事。故事是兒童教育的最佳形式之一。能夠激發孩子們的好奇心和探究心。小編整理了大學幽默英語故事,歡迎閱讀!

  大學幽默英語故事:輕率的插話

  The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. " Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"

  我所工作的精品傢俱商店是從20世紀二十年代以來就營業的。最近我接到一個婦女的電話。她想換一套餐具中的一些椅子。這套餐具她是在三十年代從我們這兒買的。我向她保證說我們可以幫她的忙,於是我向部門經理尋求幫助。“你永遠也不會相信,”我對他說,“我剛接到一個顧客的電話,她在三十年代從我們這裡買了一些椅子。” 我還沒來得及說她的要求,經理就打斷了我的話:“你別告訴我她到現在還沒收到貨!”

  大學幽默英語故事:他什麼都沒聽到

  Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

  我在郵局上班,對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以為常了。所以,有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時,我還是非常平靜地問她,“有什麼問題嗎?”“我早上上街了,”女顧客說,“我回到家的時候,我看到一個卡片,卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹,但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之後,我把包裹給了她。“噢,太好了”,那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什麼好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。

  大學幽默英語故事:智力缺陷

  "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

  “醫生,你能不能告訴我,”鮑勃問,“對於一個看上去很正常的人,你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了,”醫生回答,“問他一個簡單的問題,簡單到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不乾脆,那你就知道是怎麼回事了。”“那要問什麼樣的問題呢?”“嗯,你可以這樣問,‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次,但是在其中一次的途中他去世了,是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒,緊張的回答道,“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說,我對歷史瞭解的不是很多。”