英語幽默故事

　　簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣。今天小編整理了一些英語小故事，希望對大家喜歡。

　　英語幽默小故事：Dog in Heat

　　A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

　　一個小女孩問她的媽媽，“媽媽，我可以帶狗狗去街角散步嗎?”

　　Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

　　媽媽回答說，“不，因為她有些熱。”

　　"What's that mean?" asked the child.

　　“那是什麼意思?”小女孩問。

　　"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

　　“問你爸爸去吧，”媽媽回答道，“他應該在車庫裡。”

　　The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

　　於是小女孩就去了車庫裡，說“爸爸，我可以帶Belle去街角散散步嗎?我問了媽媽，但她說狗狗有些熱，讓我來問問你。”

　　Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

　　爸爸說，“把Belle帶過來吧。”他拿了跟布條，用汽油浸過，然後綁在了狗狗的背上用力擦了擦狗狗的背，說“好了，你現在可以去了，但是得一直拿著Belle的皮帶，並且只能在街角走一次。”

　　The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

　　小女孩離開了，幾分鐘後便回來了，狗沒有一起回來。爸爸感到很驚訝，問道，“Belle呢?”

　　The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

　　小女孩說，“她半路就把背上的汽油揮發光了，然後另外一隻狗就'奮勇前進'了。”

　　英語幽默小故事: Lonely frog

　　A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company, telephoned the Psychic Hot line to find out what his future has in store.

　　一隻孤獨的青蛙，對所有形式的陪伴都感到絕望，於是它撥打了心理諮詢熱線，想要知道它的未來還有什麼樣的可能。

　　His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

　　它的個人心理諮詢顧問對它說，“你會遇見一位美麗的姑娘，她會想要知道所有關於你的事情”

　　The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

　　青蛙感到萬分激動，說：“太好了!我會在哪遇見她?工作的時候?還是在晚宴上?”

　　"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

　　“不，”顧問說，“在生物課上。”

　　英語幽默小故事:Bi-Lingual Parrot

　　So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.

　　有個人在寵物店發現了一隻美麗的鸚鵡，但是它的一隻腳上牽著藍色的繩子，而另一隻牽著紅色的。這個人覺得有些奇怪，就去問店主繩子是做什麼的?

　　"Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English".

　　“噢，這是一隻訓練有素的鸚鵡。”店主回答道。“如果你拉動紅繩子，它會講法語，如果你拉動藍繩子，它就講英語”

　　"Wow" exclaims the man shopping, "That's really neat. What happens if you pull them both at the same time?"

　　“哇塞，”這個人感到很驚訝。“太厲害了。那如果你同時拉呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch you idiot!" exclaims the parrot.

　　“我會從架子上跌倒的!你個笨蛋!”鸚鵡回答道。

　　英語幽默小故事：Deer Tracks

　　Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.

　　兩個律師一同去打獵。有一次，他們倆發現了一連串腳印，於是仔細檢查起來。

　　The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."

　　第一個律師說“這些是小鹿***deer***的腳印。因為現在是小鹿活動的時候，我們應該跟著腳步走，這樣就能發現獵物!”

　　The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."

　　第二個律師回答說：“這顯然是駝鹿***elk***的腳印，而現在已經不是駝鹿的活動季節了。如果聽你的，今天就相當於啥都沒幹了。”