放鬆心情英語幽默故事

  在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來,希望大家喜歡!

  :聰明的目擊人

  A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.

  有一名車禍目擊證人正在出庭作證。

  The lawyer asked him,"Did you actually see theaccident?"

  律師問他:“你確實看見了這起車禍嗎?”

  The witness:"Yes,sir."

  目擊證人說:“是的, 長官."

  The lawyer :"How far away were you when the accident happened?"

  律師說:“當車禍發生的時候,你在多遠的地方?”

  The witness:"Thirty-one feet,six and one quarter inches."

  目擊證人說:“三十一英尺,六又四分之一 英尺。”

  The lawyer***thinking he'd trap the witness***:"Well ,sir,will you please tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"

  這名律師說***心想他會讓這務目擊證人陷,入陰謀的勘計之中***:“那好吧,先生,請你告訴陪審團,你怎麼知道確實是那個距離暱?”

  The witness:"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it.I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."

  目擊證人說:“因為當車禍發生的時候,就拿出了卷盡測量過宦。我早知道會莉一個令人傷腦筋.律師問。我那個蠢問題 。”

  :接聽熨斗

  A guy walks into his office ,and both of his ears are all bandaged up.

  有一個人走進他的辦公室,他的兩個耳朵都包紮了繃帶。

  The boss says,"What happened to your ears?"

  老闆說:“你的耳朵怎麼啦?”

  He says,"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang!I accidentally answered the iron.

  他說:“昨天電話響的時候,我正在用熨斗燙襯衫。我竟然無意閭就把熨斗拿來接聽。

  The boss says,"Well,that expains one ear,but what happened to your other ear?"

  老闆說:“ 嗯,好吧,那解釋了一個耳朵,可是你的另一個耳朵又是怎麼一回事呀?”

  He says,"Well,jeez,I had to call the doctor!"

  他說:“嗯,哎呀!我得打電給醫生嘛!”

  :糟糕的上班日

  A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.

  有一名男子加入一家大型跨國。公司接受訓練。

  On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,

  在他上班的第一天,他撥電話到餐飲室,並且,對著電話大聲喊!

  "Get me a coffee quickly!"

  “ 快點給我送杯咖啡過來!”

  The voice from the other side responded,

  電話另外-端的聲音卻響應說:

  "You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"

  “你這個笨蛋,你撥錯分機了!蠢蛋,你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?”這名受訓的人回答說,

  "No,"replied the trainee.

  “不知道。”“你這個笨蛋,我是公司的總經理。”

  The man shouted back immediately,

  這名男子立刻大聲吼回去:

  "And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"

  “你這個笨蛋,你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?…總經理回答:

  "No,replied the General Manager.

  “不知道。”這名受訓 的人周答說:

  "Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!

  “很好!”,然後就把電話給掛了。