爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯總有你喜歡的

  笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編分享爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ,希望可以幫助大家!

  爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 :an absent-minded professor 健忘教授

  No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."

  毫無疑問,我的同事、Martin神父是個有點健忘的教授。他經常到別的教區給生病的牧師替班。一個週六,他又坐火車出發了,但到驗票時,他卻怎麼都找不著放在衣服口袋裡面的火車票。因為老坐火車,列車員認得教授,因此對他說,“不用找了,我想你肯定已經買過票了。”“我得把票找出來”,Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。

  爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 :哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊?

  How could anyone stoop so low?

  Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

  我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴,和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者,我應該說,他是有點矮!一天,經理怒氣衝衝地撞門而入,高聲說,

  “有人拿了我的錢包!”

  我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲,但有人卻蹦出一句話:

  “哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!

  爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 :Shave head 刮頭

  Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."

  前些日子,有一男的來到我的理髮店,問剪一個頭要多少錢。

  “八美元,”我告訴他。

  “那,刮次鬍子呢?”

  “五美元”。

  “那行”,那男的邊說邊坐到了理髮椅上,“來,給我刮刮頭吧”。

  爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 :Speeding 超速

  Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."

  因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪儘量多的客戶,所以超速飛車趕場對於他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表?”那名警官責問。當我的回答一出口,我立刻後悔了,但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”,我如實地說,“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面,沒敢看別的”。

  爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 :一睡醒,你就被炒魷魚了

  Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."

  我的同事有好幾小時不見人了。我們瘋了地到處找他。最後老闆發現,他正在睡大覺。沒叫醒他,老闆悄無聲息地在我的同事的胸前放了個紙條。“睡覺時”,條上寫著,“你是我的員工,醒來你就不是了。”